I am presently inept in the presence of Grief. I've had a few run-ins with her lately, and an awkward conversation fumbles back and forth full of starts, interruptions, and red-in-the-face restarts.
She is confident, beautiful, and powerful. Unsure of myself around her, I feel a cowardly inclination to fill the pauses and end up mutely devising appropriate platitudes. What I'd really like to do is create white noise, so the silences don't feel so dead, so cold...so final.
Grief lays me bare, cuts to my marrow. I want to blanket my depravity, but she seeks me out and exposes my hypocrisy. I don't want to be another Eliphaz, Bildad, or Zophar, so I walk alongside her, wondering if my clumsiness will smooth with practice.
I related to your post, Orpah. I read through Job recently and was struck by how very hard it is--maybe even impossible--to offer comfort to someone who is suffering. The three friends clearly missed the mark as soon as they started talking, they should have just stuck to sitting with Job as they had begun. But what do you make of Elihu? He enters the story just before the LORD enters, and he has strong words, but he is not rebuked by the LORD, nor are we told how Job responds to him. I've been kinda fascinated by his presence in the drama, trying to figure out why he is there. What do you think?
ReplyDeleteThank you Orpah. Well said. In my grief it was hardest to deal with people who acted as though nothing had happened. So many people did reach out to us and do or say something and, while it was sometimes awkward, I appreciated their attempts and their willingness to be uncomfortable. I appreciated it all the more since I often had been the one to not say something because it was hard or because someone might get emotional. I'm sure everyone is a little different, but I encourage you to continue your walk.
ReplyDeleteMichelle, I'm curious about Elihu's presence as well. A couple thoughts:
ReplyDelete1.) Though Elihu addresses Job, it sometimes seems like his opinion of suffering is generalized more for the benefit of the audience. Job never answers him and neither does the Lord, so his monologue takes on a soliloquy feel.
2.) In 33:14 Elihu states, "For God speaks in one way, and in two, though man does not perceive it." Maybe Elihu represents characters who speak truth to people in their grief/suffering, even though those suffering may not respond, or even listen. Those truth-speakers are unlikely characters to have "the breath of the Almighty, that makes [them] understand" (32:8). In Elihu's case, he is young, but he bursts with the truth to Job (32:18-20), though Job might not perceive it. In Christ's case, he was born in a barn, served others endlessly, and died for sins he didn't commit, and many still do not perceive him as Savior. I looked up "Elihu" in my old-school Westminster Dictionary of the Bible, and the entry reads "[El (God) is He, or He is God]." Maybe Elihu is key to understanding the gospel in the drama.
Sarah, I appreciate your comment. It is encouraging to know that even in awkwardness, comfort can be present. I often wonder if the Lord provides more suffering in my life, I will be better able to respond to others' grief.